Pimples 2

Yar yar yar. Its about my PIMPLES again ok. I didn't notice any additional PIMPLES on my face (sebab da lali kot dengan JERAWAT), but my friends did! LOL!

I 've just arrived JB and my friend Afiq picked me up and we went for shisha. Wuuhhaaa! Shisha terbaek di Taman U! Of course there were some of my old buddies from matric hang out together.(jeles siaa korang da habis final exam!) While we were watching Real Madrid belasah Hercules with the smoky shisha, some of my friends said to me :

'kau asal makin banyak JERAWAT?'

'makin naik JERAWAT kau Jay, asal?'

'ramai sangat awek ape?' 

Aku sendiri tak tau der nape JERAWAT waa suka sangat beranak. Agak nye diorang minum tongkat ali kot? HAHA! Korang tak taw ke setiap perkataan tu doa? Lain kali kalau jumpe cakap la

'sikit nye JERAWAT kau Jay!'

'bersih ah muke kau Jay'

When you all say that about 40 times, hopefully it will termakbul. Baru la muka waa berseri-seri! HAHA!

Berseri kan? Tettt! More to Ghey face perhaps.

Again, I don't know what kind of facial product should I use to sterile my F PIMPLES! If you have an amazing suggestion, do tell me now!! I can be crazy with these horny PIMPLES! Tapi kalau nak payung aku pegi New York Skin Solution pun bole jugak. Tersangat sangat dialukan. Plus, I don't want people to remember or recognize me because of my PIMPLES. Tak market siaaa.

 p/s : esok korang payong waa shisha pulak eh? Winston da pecah dara ah. HAHA!

Thank You

Congratulation to myself because this is the 10th entry for this brand new blog! Wuuhhhaaa! Thanks for following this crap. Not to forget those who had visited this blog but didn't follow. I've been receiving very positive and negative feedbacks (ade la 1 feedback yang negative) but mostly positive. Thank you very very much! Happy to see you all happy after reading this blog. Yeeehawwww! (horny horse sound)

So, this time I wanted to share something about my life as a student. Before furthering my studies here in UPM, I was a student of SAKTI(Sains Kota Tinggi). Fuuyoooo! Dak sekolah sains siaaa aku ni. Kenapa aku nak share sangat cerita zaman sekolah aku kat korang? Sebab ni blog aku, aku punye pasal lah! HAHA! Cut the crap. So, we continue on my story. Dulu kat asrama wa ade sorang warden ni. Sampai sekarang I can't figure out why all the students called him 'Owl'. I'm pretty sure it was related to him as a warden that always sleep late plus threatening us(budak2 terejal) to cook maggi at midnight!

'Light off! Da pukul berapa da ni...' blablablabla *sambil suluh2 torchlight

'Bloody fool lah you people, mentang2 la da senior da besar bole buat sesuka hati' 

Sir Azman Isa a.k.a Owl. Missed him. LOL!

Why I missed him? HAHA! Strictly no gayness here ok. I missed him because he once cut my hair even my hair is very short like my pubic hair! That's kinda frustrating. FYI, aku masuk kawad kaki mase Form 5. Obviously I've botak about 4 or 5 times that year. Bila rambut aku ala2 bulu ketiak Maria Sharapova baru nak tumbuh, my lovely teacher here cut it! 

'Rambut kau tak panjang, tapi saje nak cukup kan syarat.'

Ok. That's me. Cute eyh? HAHA!

Thnak you sir! Love what you said very much. It means a LOT to me. Actually, when my hair was being cut by him(in a middle of bullying case), there was my junior which possessed TOMOK hairstyle. You know the style where my friends called it 'rambut tepek'. HAHA! The reason why he said to me as 'cukupkan syarat' because he wants to be fair to that TOMOK wannabe! Kalaw die sorang je kena gunting tak adil la kan? Fak you TOMOK wannabe!

Awww... Isn't he cute? F

Although aku da tak dendam kat warden serta budak bajet TOMOK tu, but still I miss my hair lah time tu! Baru tumbuh sikit da kena potong. Yang tak bole blah sideburn waa macam kipas helikopter lalu sebelah waa! Die bagi straight atas telinga punya. Sematt lahh. HAHA! Last but not least, I wanted to congratulate Sir Azman because he was promoted as a disciplinary teacher in SAKTI. Walllahhh! May GOD bless you and hopefully you can open a barber shop in SAKTI so that students can go to your shop and have a nice helicopter sideburn! No offense Sir, you make me remember you all the time. =B

p/s : I can't wait to go to SAKTI again to show my hair to him! Ngeh3. Make him tempted to cut my hair!

Cuci Mata

I'm a person who loves to lepak with my friends. Other than sitting at mamak's stall, layan shisha sampai mabuk, round2 JB, me with my friends love to do this particular thing when we get together. 

Kat JB ade satu tempat ni name die SUSUR. Dekat2 ngan Court's Mammoth Larkin. One of the attraction for the tourist including penduduk tetap JB is the Maknyahs! HAHA! Agak pelik bile dak2 laki keluar lepak same2 sume otak jadi bengong. Excited when dapat jumpe Maknyahs (dari jauh la). Bile da nampak clearly wajah mereka yang 'ayu'...... (sume orang menjerit!) 

Phewwit! Baru lepas ke bang? Err.. Akak perhaps?

Other than SUSUR, there's one great spot to checkout for Maknyahs. JB is famous for its City Square. Near the City Square ade kuil India. Senang citer sekitar kuil tu macam Indian town la. Then, there's a street(don't know the name actually) is full of Indian Maknyahs! HAHA! All of them are tough! I think they 'workout' often.(beware of tough guys near you!) Sekali pandang macam perempuan, dua kali pandang ade 'benda' terjulur kat bawah skirt! Ohh Am Gee!

Damn you Maknyahs! HAHA!

FYI, our prime minister had proposed '1 Malaysia'. Yeahh, I kinda agreed with that. Now we have Malay and Indian Maknyahs, so we missed out the Chinese! I didn't managed to find a Chinese Maknyahs yet in JB. I'll try my best to search for it and I'll upload the picture. But still, google is the best yaww! 

I'm turned on when she/he made this horny face! LOL!

I'm not trying to buruk2 kan diorang. They'll just trying to find sesuap nasi.(ayat skema habis!) Surely, they bring joy and fun to me and also my retarded friends. I suggest you to do this with your friends. It's fun because you will get excited when seeing these Maknyahs. But when you come near them, you will scream like hell! HAHA! After that you all will start to kutuk2 diorang and their faces surely will stay in your freaking mind forever!

p/s : Wait till they say 'adik nak tumpang abang boleh?' Auwwwww!

Tak Cukup Kain Kot?

As far as I know, clothes are used to cover up our body. Today, its a different story. Clothes are used to show off our body! Let me get this straight, sumpah aku tak suka baju kurung yang kain jarang. Nak taw sebab ape? HAHA! Kalau body cantek tak pe lah, tapi kalaw babat terjuih sane sini nak ngade2 pakai baju kurung jarang ape citer? 

'Oh yeahh! I'm proud to show my gorgeous and enormous BABAT to you horny guys!'

FYI, yang berlipat2 tu adalah BABAT. Harap maklum.

Yang menambahkan lagi kepeningan kat kepale otak aku ni ialah, asal design baju kurung sekarang sume nye jarang2? Bukan ke baju kurung tu melambangkan agama islam serta keayuan orang melayu? The designers nak jimat kain kot.LOL! Or maybe the famous 'ulat sutera' hampir diancam kepupusan? Come on lahh, you as the muslims should not be buying these kinds of baju kurung lah sisters. What's the point of wearing those lousy baju kurung for? Want to show off your brand new bra eh? Baik bogel je, lagi senang.HAHA!

'Check out my black bra you horny guys! Just bought them from XIXILI.'

Phewiitt! Akak ni pakai bra hitam. 

When some virgins raped by men, they will blame it on the rapist. Why must the rapist be blamed?(Of course la perogol yang salah sbb tak dapat tahan nafsu) What if we start from the beginning, why the rapist wanna rape you? Because you suka pakai baju jarang! Lagi2 kalaw badan tiptop punye. Mane perogol tu tak turned on. Kalaw aku pun same jugak cuma aku tak de la sampai tahap nk merogol.HAHA!

Baju sekolah pun jarang. No wonder kids are more advanced about sex. LOL!

p/s : I might need those who wear the baju kurung jarang to freshen my eyes if i'm sleepy in class.HAHA!

No Wonder

Dalam menempuh era globalisasi ni,(ayat pendahuluan karangan)HAHA! Oke, aku straight to the point/sirotolmustakim, budak2 kecik zaman sekarang sangat3 bertuah. Why? Because they born with silver spoon in their mouth? Teetttt! Wrong! Its because they born with all the F technologies in their ass! No wonder lah kecik2 lagi da tau pasal porno.

People said that Google is the most powerful search engine nowadays. Oh yeahh! It's true! So, when these lucky spoiled brat are lazy pigs to do their homework which is write an essay about local fruit, they will Google and copy pasta! 

Powerful search engine ever!

Instead of finding local fruit, they'll found 'buah dada' and 'buah dada cikgu' is the different type of fruit. Imagine if those kids wrote about buah dada and hand it over to the teacher at class.HAHA! Patut lah budak2 kecik zaman sekarang makin liar. Sume nye salah internet dan Google!

Some kids dapat tau pasal video ariel peterporn ngan luna maya sebab Google lah. Even I didn't know that.(buat2 naif) Actually aku da tgk da video ni.HAHA! What I'm trying to say is they got to watch those adult movies in such an early age! I hate kids nowadays.(jealousy)

Nak search Luna colour pencil, Luna Maya yang keluar. LOL!

p/s : No internet for my future family except for me! Ngeh3 (horny laugh)

Down, Down, Down, and Down

Tajuk macam lagu Jay sean kan? HAHA! Actually, this entry xde kena mengena pun ngan Jay Sean. Its all about The Reds. So, this is for you lah Caer! 

This season of EPL started with a surprise. Well, not so surprise for me, but for the Liverpool's die hard fans.(kau la tu Caer) HAHA! EPL is famous of its big four. What is big four? Of course la bukan no.4 tu jadik besa. Tetapi club yang memang selalu lah kat atas carta liga. Arsenal, Chelsea, Man Utd and Liverpool. Season ni memang hampeh buat kelab The Reds. Setakat 8 match ni, kelab yang takkan jalan sorang2 ni baru menang 2 kali je baiii! Pity them. Tapi Liverpool memang tak power pun sblom2 ni.(gaye peminat Man U) I don't know what's going on with this club. But I manage to figure out some of the main problem.

Torres's haircut

Padan muke kau Torres! HAHA!

Before having his haircut, die memang hebat lah. Lepas die potong rambut je teros down. I think he's being forced to cut his hair by his spouse. Ape yang aku nampak ialah die hilang fokus atas padang. Nak taw sebab ape? Because he's worried about his dandruff will fall during the match and caught on camera! So, kalaw rambot die panjang mesti la die tak kisah sbb kalaw dandruff die jatoh pun still ade dalam rambot die. Sekarang rambot pendek camera snap gmba kepala die da bole nampak betapa banyak nye dandruff die! HAHA!

'Saye guna CLEAR for men!' (ayat CR dalam iklan shampoo CLEAR)

I suggest you use this shampoo every time before playing. Then, if you managed to play full time, wash your hair again after second half break. So, if you(Liverpool's fans) want him to be as fierce as he used to be, tunggu la smpi rambot die panjang kayh! HAHA!

Sponsorship

Carlsberg lagi oke kot?

Before this Liverpool's have been sponsored by Carlsberg. Sblom ni pun Liverpool takde la power sangat. Maybe sebab Carlsberg yang taja. When this season started, Liverpool changed its sponsorship to Standard Chattered. I expect that their performance will be better, yelah sblom ni Carlsberg taja macam xberkat la diorang main, tu yang tak power. Datang pulak Standard Chattered ingat kan mendapat keberkatan, rupe2 nye malapetaka. What can I conclude here is Liverpool's manager might consider to take Carlsberg for their sponsorship. Baru lah hebat ckt macam dulu. HAHA!

'Terok ah Liverpool Caer. Kau tak malu ke sebagai die hard fans?'

'Ahh... Aku sekarang sokong Blackpool!'

HAHA! Sabar eh Caer. Nanti rambot Torres da panjang kompem Liverpool power macam dulu.

Tahniah! Liverpool dapat masuk ke divisyen ke-2 season depan.LOL!

p/s : 'You'll never walk alone' Tetttt! Wrong! It's 'you'll walk alone'.

Friendship

Got inspired by Life's a Buzz and grown up! to post this entry. Of course everyone has friends. Those who doesn't have friends are aliens!(or maybe muka die macam alien thats why orang takot nk berkawan.HAHA!) Lately, friendship menjadi hot topic for students like me. So, when It comes to friendship its all about laughs and jokes around. Well of course misunderstanding occurs. Through this point, you will see how your TRUE friends will react to fix things around. 


Citer pasal gadoh ngan member, aku dulu pernah gadoh ngan sorang ni. Almost a year lah I didn't spoke to him. Masing2 ego tinggi ngalahkan KLCC.(macam pantun la pulak) Yang pelik nye bile main futsal 1 team ngan die, bole pulak panggil2 name mntak bola.

'Mat! Mat! Sini Kosong!' 

'Belakang kau Mat!' 

This show that masing2 nak get along tapi malu2 kuceng. Dekat hujung tahun lah baru aku ngan mamat ni berbaek. Meleleh air mata baii! HAHA! 

Mamat baju coklat tu la yg aku maksudkan.(gangster kan muke die?)

The point is friendship never die brothers and sisters! Dulu time skola agama Ustaz aku ade cakap, 'memutuskan silaturrahim sesama kita hukumnye berdosa besar'. Aku ingat sampai sekarang eventhough I always ponteng! So, egoism should not exist in friendship. Learn how to compromise and accept him/her as they are(bukan nye susah macam menghafal sejarah) and please, don't be like kuih talam. Hypocrisy!(hate those hypocrites) Plus, sejauh mane die dah berubah, they always be your friends. Because friends are the person we needed the most especially when we need help.(nk mntak no.awek pun kena mntak tolong kawan derr)

p/s : Air dicincang tidak akan putus.(rndu subjek BM tiba2)

Tarekk!

'Merokok? Mande ade gaye.'

'Merokok? Tak nak lah' 

 I use to hate those words. Macam nak tumbuk2 je muka orang yang cakap cam tu. Tapi time tu I was a hardcore smoker. Geram je bila dengar ayat2 poyo nk mampus tu. HAHA! I started smoke when I was 14. Silap pilih kawan kot?(padahal sendiri yang nak) Mase tu I learned how to smoke while peeping girls at the school laboratory. Ngeh3. Since then my fresh lungs were coated with those damn tars and nicotine.

My 1st cigarette. SKL strawberry.

Some people said that SKL is the cigarette for maknyah. I don't know why but it taste and smell really good.(masyuk je tekak rase strawberry) HAHA! Mase tengah skodeng budak pompuan tu aku try la hisap SKL ni tapi aku tak tarek. Maklumlah aku jahil bab2 merokok time ni. Tu pun mntak membe aku.

'Asal ko tak tarek doe?'

'Tarek tu ape?'

'Adoiii, ko ni bazer je rokok aku'

After that aku nekad nak blaja tarek! Hari tu jugak aku outing beli rokok. Amek kau! 1st time beli teros beli Marlboro! HAHA! Time ni ade lagi kotak 14. After that I went back to hostel then went to the school hall's toilet to learn TAREK. 1st and 2nd attempt failed. After a few tunjuk ajar by smoking instructor I managed to TAREK! Sumpah lalok giler babi! My friends were laughing at me because I was terhuyung-hayang like Jackie Chan minom todi lawan kung fu. Sejak dari hari tu lah aku menjadi hardcore smoker. Yeahh! Thanks to Marlboro.

My 1st cigarette

After 4 years of smoking Marlboro, Dunhill, Winston, Pall Mall, dan lain-lain secara hardcore, I managed to cut down the sucking of nicotine and tar to my lungs. Because, harga rokok naik lagi siaaa!(tak bole terima) Kalaw aku nk smoke pun aku beli rokok seludup yg lg murah. Tapi rokok seludup Nusan pun naik harga jgak! Argghhhhhhh! Dari RM2.30 - RM3.50. Damn!

Rokok Indon (Nusan) standard buat geli2 tekak. HAHA!

p/s : After this I will go for shisha. RM8 bole hisap sampai tanggal tekak!

Pimples

A friend of mine pernah tanye soalan cepumas kat aku. HAHA! Sorry Maziah! Soalannya berbunyi begini:

'asal JERAWAT cam makin banyak?'

'tak cuci muka eh?' 

Ni ke JERAWAT?

 HAHA! How could i know? Before this PIMPLES never existed on my face until my late Form 4. Then, in Form 5 aku masok kawad kaki. That's the heyday for my PIMPLES because a lot of sweating and lack of penjagaan muka. Damn you PIMPLES! Kenapa kau beranak-pinak kat muka aku?? (takut tak market lagi di kalangan hot babes.HAHA!) Btw, dah macam2 produk aku da tonyoh kat muka aku ni. Oxy, Biore, Safi, PIMPLES Go To Hell, Sumpah Takde JERAWAT, etc. But still the PIMPLES won't vanish! Sayang betol JERAWAT ni kat muka aku.

p/s: I love you too dear PIMPLES! Muahxx!

Hayley, We Love You..!!!!

1st entry for this brand new blog. So, yesterday was fun! Got to see Hayley Williams live depan mata kat Stdm. Bkt. Jalil. RM98 I think its worth it. Although its the cheapest tix (seat belakang2 kalau tengok nampak macam semut je Paramore tu), tapi disebabkan people around me melompat2 like orang utan kena gigit semut api aku pun ter-influence by them untuk melompat bersama-sama.

I can see Hayley clearly when the camera's lens popped out after extra zooming!

Best gilakkk! Love you Hayley!(aku knal Hayley je dalam Paramore ni. HAHA!) Hope that they'll come again next year.

Paramore rock!

Along the night at the concert, so many people from teenagers to the tua kerepot come to watch Paramore. Damn, what the makcik2 and pakcik2 came for? Maybe their children layan Paramore kot. That's why pakcik2 serta makcik2 ni ikut sekali. LOL! Not to forget the hot babes yang datang along with their hot friends! Haha. Sempat jugak aku cuci mata. Ngeh3. 

Hot babes! HAHA!

p/s : I want your awesome red hair Hayley!