Pimples 2

Yar yar yar. Its about my PIMPLES again ok. I didn't notice any additional PIMPLES on my face (sebab da lali kot dengan JERAWAT), but my friends did! LOL!

I 've just arrived JB and my friend Afiq picked me up and we went for shisha. Wuuhhaaa! Shisha terbaek di Taman U! Of course there were some of my old buddies from matric hang out together.(jeles siaa korang da habis final exam!) While we were watching Real Madrid belasah Hercules with the smoky shisha, some of my friends said to me :

'kau asal makin banyak JERAWAT?'

'makin naik JERAWAT kau Jay, asal?'

'ramai sangat awek ape?' 

Aku sendiri tak tau der nape JERAWAT waa suka sangat beranak. Agak nye diorang minum tongkat ali kot? HAHA! Korang tak taw ke setiap perkataan tu doa? Lain kali kalau jumpe cakap la

'sikit nye JERAWAT kau Jay!'

'bersih ah muke kau Jay'

When you all say that about 40 times, hopefully it will termakbul. Baru la muka waa berseri-seri! HAHA!

Berseri kan? Tettt! More to Ghey face perhaps.

Again, I don't know what kind of facial product should I use to sterile my F PIMPLES! If you have an amazing suggestion, do tell me now!! I can be crazy with these horny PIMPLES! Tapi kalau nak payung aku pegi New York Skin Solution pun bole jugak. Tersangat sangat dialukan. Plus, I don't want people to remember or recognize me because of my PIMPLES. Tak market siaaa.

 p/s : esok korang payong waa shisha pulak eh? Winston da pecah dara ah. HAHA!

Thank You

Congratulation to myself because this is the 10th entry for this brand new blog! Wuuhhhaaa! Thanks for following this crap. Not to forget those who had visited this blog but didn't follow. I've been receiving very positive and negative feedbacks (ade la 1 feedback yang negative) but mostly positive. Thank you very very much! Happy to see you all happy after reading this blog. Yeeehawwww! (horny horse sound)

So, this time I wanted to share something about my life as a student. Before furthering my studies here in UPM, I was a student of SAKTI(Sains Kota Tinggi). Fuuyoooo! Dak sekolah sains siaaa aku ni. Kenapa aku nak share sangat cerita zaman sekolah aku kat korang? Sebab ni blog aku, aku punye pasal lah! HAHA! Cut the crap. So, we continue on my story. Dulu kat asrama wa ade sorang warden ni. Sampai sekarang I can't figure out why all the students called him 'Owl'. I'm pretty sure it was related to him as a warden that always sleep late plus threatening us(budak2 terejal) to cook maggi at midnight!

'Light off! Da pukul berapa da ni...' blablablabla *sambil suluh2 torchlight

'Bloody fool lah you people, mentang2 la da senior da besar bole buat sesuka hati' 

Sir Azman Isa a.k.a Owl. Missed him. LOL!

Why I missed him? HAHA! Strictly no gayness here ok. I missed him because he once cut my hair even my hair is very short like my pubic hair! That's kinda frustrating. FYI, aku masuk kawad kaki mase Form 5. Obviously I've botak about 4 or 5 times that year. Bila rambut aku ala2 bulu ketiak Maria Sharapova baru nak tumbuh, my lovely teacher here cut it! 

'Rambut kau tak panjang, tapi saje nak cukup kan syarat.'

Ok. That's me. Cute eyh? HAHA!

Thnak you sir! Love what you said very much. It means a LOT to me. Actually, when my hair was being cut by him(in a middle of bullying case), there was my junior which possessed TOMOK hairstyle. You know the style where my friends called it 'rambut tepek'. HAHA! The reason why he said to me as 'cukupkan syarat' because he wants to be fair to that TOMOK wannabe! Kalaw die sorang je kena gunting tak adil la kan? Fak you TOMOK wannabe!

Awww... Isn't he cute? F

Although aku da tak dendam kat warden serta budak bajet TOMOK tu, but still I miss my hair lah time tu! Baru tumbuh sikit da kena potong. Yang tak bole blah sideburn waa macam kipas helikopter lalu sebelah waa! Die bagi straight atas telinga punya. Sematt lahh. HAHA! Last but not least, I wanted to congratulate Sir Azman because he was promoted as a disciplinary teacher in SAKTI. Walllahhh! May GOD bless you and hopefully you can open a barber shop in SAKTI so that students can go to your shop and have a nice helicopter sideburn! No offense Sir, you make me remember you all the time. =B

p/s : I can't wait to go to SAKTI again to show my hair to him! Ngeh3. Make him tempted to cut my hair!

Cuci Mata

I'm a person who loves to lepak with my friends. Other than sitting at mamak's stall, layan shisha sampai mabuk, round2 JB, me with my friends love to do this particular thing when we get together. 

Kat JB ade satu tempat ni name die SUSUR. Dekat2 ngan Court's Mammoth Larkin. One of the attraction for the tourist including penduduk tetap JB is the Maknyahs! HAHA! Agak pelik bile dak2 laki keluar lepak same2 sume otak jadi bengong. Excited when dapat jumpe Maknyahs (dari jauh la). Bile da nampak clearly wajah mereka yang 'ayu'...... (sume orang menjerit!) 

Phewwit! Baru lepas ke bang? Err.. Akak perhaps?

Other than SUSUR, there's one great spot to checkout for Maknyahs. JB is famous for its City Square. Near the City Square ade kuil India. Senang citer sekitar kuil tu macam Indian town la. Then, there's a street(don't know the name actually) is full of Indian Maknyahs! HAHA! All of them are tough! I think they 'workout' often.(beware of tough guys near you!) Sekali pandang macam perempuan, dua kali pandang ade 'benda' terjulur kat bawah skirt! Ohh Am Gee!

Damn you Maknyahs! HAHA!

FYI, our prime minister had proposed '1 Malaysia'. Yeahh, I kinda agreed with that. Now we have Malay and Indian Maknyahs, so we missed out the Chinese! I didn't managed to find a Chinese Maknyahs yet in JB. I'll try my best to search for it and I'll upload the picture. But still, google is the best yaww! 

I'm turned on when she/he made this horny face! LOL!

I'm not trying to buruk2 kan diorang. They'll just trying to find sesuap nasi.(ayat skema habis!) Surely, they bring joy and fun to me and also my retarded friends. I suggest you to do this with your friends. It's fun because you will get excited when seeing these Maknyahs. But when you come near them, you will scream like hell! HAHA! After that you all will start to kutuk2 diorang and their faces surely will stay in your freaking mind forever!

p/s : Wait till they say 'adik nak tumpang abang boleh?' Auwwwww!

Tak Cukup Kain Kot?

As far as I know, clothes are used to cover up our body. Today, its a different story. Clothes are used to show off our body! Let me get this straight, sumpah aku tak suka baju kurung yang kain jarang. Nak taw sebab ape? HAHA! Kalau body cantek tak pe lah, tapi kalaw babat terjuih sane sini nak ngade2 pakai baju kurung jarang ape citer? 

'Oh yeahh! I'm proud to show my gorgeous and enormous BABAT to you horny guys!'

FYI, yang berlipat2 tu adalah BABAT. Harap maklum.

Yang menambahkan lagi kepeningan kat kepale otak aku ni ialah, asal design baju kurung sekarang sume nye jarang2? Bukan ke baju kurung tu melambangkan agama islam serta keayuan orang melayu? The designers nak jimat kain kot.LOL! Or maybe the famous 'ulat sutera' hampir diancam kepupusan? Come on lahh, you as the muslims should not be buying these kinds of baju kurung lah sisters. What's the point of wearing those lousy baju kurung for? Want to show off your brand new bra eh? Baik bogel je, lagi senang.HAHA!

'Check out my black bra you horny guys! Just bought them from XIXILI.'

Phewiitt! Akak ni pakai bra hitam. 

When some virgins raped by men, they will blame it on the rapist. Why must the rapist be blamed?(Of course la perogol yang salah sbb tak dapat tahan nafsu) What if we start from the beginning, why the rapist wanna rape you? Because you suka pakai baju jarang! Lagi2 kalaw badan tiptop punye. Mane perogol tu tak turned on. Kalaw aku pun same jugak cuma aku tak de la sampai tahap nk merogol.HAHA!

Baju sekolah pun jarang. No wonder kids are more advanced about sex. LOL!

p/s : I might need those who wear the baju kurung jarang to freshen my eyes if i'm sleepy in class.HAHA!

No Wonder

Dalam menempuh era globalisasi ni,(ayat pendahuluan karangan)HAHA! Oke, aku straight to the point/sirotolmustakim, budak2 kecik zaman sekarang sangat3 bertuah. Why? Because they born with silver spoon in their mouth? Teetttt! Wrong! Its because they born with all the F technologies in their ass! No wonder lah kecik2 lagi da tau pasal porno.

People said that Google is the most powerful search engine nowadays. Oh yeahh! It's true! So, when these lucky spoiled brat are lazy pigs to do their homework which is write an essay about local fruit, they will Google and copy pasta! 

Powerful search engine ever!

Instead of finding local fruit, they'll found 'buah dada' and 'buah dada cikgu' is the different type of fruit. Imagine if those kids wrote about buah dada and hand it over to the teacher at class.HAHA! Patut lah budak2 kecik zaman sekarang makin liar. Sume nye salah internet dan Google!

Some kids dapat tau pasal video ariel peterporn ngan luna maya sebab Google lah. Even I didn't know that.(buat2 naif) Actually aku da tgk da video ni.HAHA! What I'm trying to say is they got to watch those adult movies in such an early age! I hate kids nowadays.(jealousy)

Nak search Luna colour pencil, Luna Maya yang keluar. LOL!

p/s : No internet for my future family except for me! Ngeh3 (horny laugh)