Melayu ke Cina ?

Bace tajuk da taw da aku nk cita pasal ape. Just now ade sorang makcik tengah berdiri kat luar pintu lif. Maybe she forgot to bring along her card and therefore she can't enter. She stand there waiting for someone to come with a card to swipe on the gate so that she can enter the elevator. Fortunately I came to save her day. Pity her though. Da la tua kerepot bawak barang tak macam berat pulak kn. Cam ne aku taw barang tu berat ? Sebab aku yang tolong angkat kn. Baik kan aku ? HAHA All of sudden got cahaya Illahi to help that makcik. Before I forget she is Chinese. 

Then we entered the elevator together. Sweet kn ? HIHI Hanya aku dan makcik tu je dalam lif tersebut. Tibe2 tangan aku dan makcik tu meraba2. Setelah puas meraba2 kami guna kan mase yang ade seblom lif tiba di tingkat 6 (umah aku) dengan berkenalan dan bermesraan. When the elevator reached the 6th floor I hold her hands and said goodbye. Aku keluar lif dengan muka puas. Ahhh.. Puas gler.

Balik ke topik asal. When I went to help that makcik she said 

'Xie xie ni ah'  

WTF ? I'm Malay laa makcik. But I just smiled and said you're welcome in Chinese. Serius pelik. Why she speak Chinese with me ? Do I look like org Cina ? Seriously someone tell me do I have the Chinese fetish ? Sejak sekolah menengah lagi my friends ejek Cina, colok, sepet and others that related to Chinese. When I was a kid I do looked like Chinese. But now I've got pimples everywhere and my skin gets darker due to often exposed by sunlight but still people thought that aku org Cina.

After SPM I worked at Silver Planet as promoter. Well, many Chinese people asked me in Chinese regarding the price or whatever they wanted to ask. Kadang2 aku rase cam Melayu murtad. HAHA Lepas diorang tnye dalam bahase Cina diorang akan buat mke orang bau taik kude. Then they will ask

'Eh, you Chinese ka Malay?'

Every single time someone ask me in Chinese they will paused for a while and ask me if Im Malay or Chinese. Frust jgak kadang2. Tapi ape bole bwat. Orang ingat aku ni Jay Chou agak nye. HAHA

To clear out the air, meraba2 dalam lif tu actually meraba2 button lif ye. Holding hands is where I gave her things back. Muka puas ? HAHA Puas la dapat tolong orang. Seriously no hanky panky. I do have a taste ok. Orang tua pulak tu. Kedut2 suda. HAHA Berkenalan dan bermesra, we chat for a while in the elevator. That's all. For those who may think negatively, you should go to the nearest washing machine and rinse your brain out.

p/s : I think I will hang a board that said 'If you think I'm Chinese you're damn stupid'.

Bangsat

Lame sial tak update. Ni mungkin sebab bosan sangat duduk umah sampai tak taw nak post ape lagi. Hari ni post yang sangat bangsat from me untuk anda semua so bear with me.

 2 days ago is the day. People were posting in Fesbuk about their results and so do I. Of cos people like me result kompem macam bangsat. HAHA Mane tak bangsat, keje enjoy je. Study last minute. People studies to obtain knowledge and used in daily life ahead. As for me, I studied for exam only. So, nawaitu dah lain jadi result pung macam harrmmmm.



Result aku yang sangat bangsat



Kenapa bangsat ? Sebab pointer aku tak lepas 3.00 tapi aku bersyukur kerana pointer aku lebih 2.5. Alhamdulillah. Actually the result tak de la bangsat mane. The process of checking the result was quiete bangsat. That's why I called this 'result bangsat'. A week earlier, kecoh babi 1 Fesbuk pasal result kuar hari ni lah hari tu lah, esok makan taik lah, lusa makan kapur barus lah. Sampai satu tahap tu too many informations about the result and I'm the one watching their comments felt like I'm in the world of Malaysian politics yang entah hape2. F habis. Then came out the 'hero' who saved the day. Kind of. Last Thursday he/she (couldn't recall) made a statement that result can be check that night. Some of them already check and started showed off on Fesbuk 'Alhamdulilahh... pointer aku plg tinggi', 'Yes! Next sem da bole lepak2' and some of them were trying to beg sympathy 'Macam mane ni, teruk gler result aku.', 'Tak pe la, mungkin sem depan rezki aku, doa kn aku eh.' Eeiiii... meluat habis aku bace. Aku excited jugak nak cek, unfortunately I was lepak-ing at the McD nearby my house. Plus, my handphone doesn't have WLAN. Got torchlight only for camping in the woods. About 3 a.m I went home and saw those status being post on Fesbuk.

1st of all I search the link on someone's post on Fesbuk. Finding the link was like cooking for me. Susah nak mampos! Apesal tah. Macam bangsat. My mates created a group on Fesbuk for our batch in UPM. I went there to see all the comments and posts hopefully got the link that I wanted. It failed me. Everyone were so eager to rate and comment on their own result with others. But that didn't stopped me. I kept on searching on every wall of my friends to see whether they have posted or shared the link. Mata aku da rabak habis. Dekat pukul 4 a.m baru aku jumpe link tersebut. Finally! Bangsat betol. Dalam banyak2 komen and status, amoi sorang ni je yang aku dpt jmpe die share link ni kat orang ramai. Yang lain sume tengah tacing2. Bodo jek. Amoi ni relax je bai. Tak de nak tacing2. Mgkn die 4 flat sbb tu die tak tacing kot. HEHE So, thanks to this Amoi.

Berpeloh jugak la ketiak aku mencari link ni. Ketiak belah kanan extreme sikit peloh die. Without wasting any time I click on the link and Taddaaaa ! Aku lupe ape password aku. Bangsat betol laa. Sumpah aku lupe! Seingat aku, I only use one password for all account. Fesbuk, Utube, Blogger, Myspace etc.(perlu ke mention Myspace?) So, I've try all the possible password that I may used as password to certain account. Ngalahkan hacker professional nak break the code but couldn't log in. I went back to Fesbuk to search anything that related to the log in troubleshooting. At the same time azan Subuh berkumandang and I looked at the clock. Bangsat betol la. Nak log in jadah ni nak cek result makan mase siaaa. Baik aku tido je kan. Then I found someone's comment that said he can logged in a few hours ago but now he couldn't. Dangg ! Kalaw aku taw awal2 lagi aku da tido.

Suddenly my neck hurts and I woke up on the sofa. Giler punye portal. Nak log in pun payah sampai aku tertido atas sofa. Nasib baek tak meletop lappy aku. I made an assumption that the portal can be log in during office hour. So, I tried again and it won't work. I gave up and visited the UPM portal and found this

Click on the picture for better view.

read the 'pengumuman' section. So, what the hell are you guys gelabah sangat ek? Tak payah nk gelabah sangat la siaa. Can't wait to show off and begging sympathy. Serius bangsat. Setelah penat lelah sembelit menunggu akhirnye result aku kuar 2 hari lepas and aku terasa seperti nk berak ble tgk result aku yang macam bangsat tu. Da la nak cek log in tak bole2. Ble da dpt log in cam ni plak result nye.

About the result aku amat berbangga walaupun 2.7 je pointer aku. Ape yang penting ape yg aku blaja gler2 babi pnye hard tak dpt B / A. Yang aku tak blaja pulak dpt B / A. So pas ni aku tak blaja la. Bole dapat 4 flat. HAHA Besides I studied for exam only kn. This is what I deserve and I made a status on Fesbuk and my friend said something valuable to me.



Thank you Etan. Click on the picture for better view.



 I made up a theory from his words. If I cut my hair aku akan blaja. And I cut my hair right after that. Wise decision eh? HAHA Bangsat.

p/s : Glory glory Man Utd for tonight match with Chelsea !

Boredom

1st post for this month! Wuhaaaa! Rageeeee!

I feel like an idiot watching cartoons and crappy Indon drama or what so ever every evening of my life on this semester break! I watched cartoon when I was a kid but my type of cartoons are way more quality than what kids are watching nowadays. Way back in 2001 my dad bought this Waja and got free Astro. I was 9 years old and I discovered these cool channel on Astro which are Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, and Nickelodeon. There were tons of very very cool cartoons to watch and you wouldn't get bored. Plus, its in English! Original sound or language for most of the cartoons. I hate when my cousins and nephew came and change the language when watching cartoons. Astro have this particular button that can alter the language of the channel you are watching. So, they changed it and it sucks. Typical Meleis. Never even wanted to try watching the cartoons in its original language. Hey, I learned my English from these freaking Astro cartoons. And you know what, I love to add Malay subtitle on the screen just to learn English. See, I got to satisfied myself watching cartoons and learned English at the same time! How benefit was that? I feel grateful that I had Astro back then. My friends always ask me why my English is so good? I said 'I learned from cartoons' and they would make a troll face after hearing my answer. Cartoons is the total solutions for kids to learn English. So, Astro for my kids in the future. Ngeh3


Another thing is the Indon's drama. Dem sheet! I totally hate it! I don't know why but its F-ing annoying! I can't even understand what are the actors and actresses saying and their face expressions are so F-ing irritating! Plus, the camera will zoom in on their face expression like thousand times just to show how ugly their faces are. The most annoying thing is the hot and sexy actresses with just an inch to exposed their vagina in the drama would always say 'Ya Allah', 'Astargfirullah', 'Aku percaya sama Allah, Allah akan melindungi aku' and something like that. F-ing stupid. HAHA You believe in Allah yet you dressed like there's no cloth anymore in Indon. Owhh I forgot, all of the clothes were washed away by tsunami and burned by the volcanoes lava! LOL


Every evening except weekends I would rather go to sleep than watching tv. Now you know why I always sleep every evening (ni bukan alasan kuat tido tp kisah benar) HAHA My dad will finish cooking before 1.30 pm because he wants to watch the news on TV3. After the news finish at 2.00 pm I will have my lunch and go to bed after that because its the time for my sis to take over the whole tv! At 2.00 pm on TV3 got this Indon's drama called Alisa. I don't know how my sis got attracted to this drama. Is it a trend for kids nowadays to follow these Indon's drama? =.='

Nia Ramadhani is hot but F this drama though.

This show last for an hour but at 2.30 pm there is Wonder pets on TV9. My sis will change to TV9 and watch the stupid hamster, tortoise and the duck-like bird. It is stupid because the language is in Malay. As you know that Wonder pets sing most of the time. So, when it change to Malay they try to sing it base on the original tune and it sucks! 'Apa yang penting? Kerjasama!!' Shut the F up please.

The next show is Danny Phantom. Ok, I love this cartoons but in English. When it comes to Malay version once again it sucks! Why TV9 change the language of the cartoons? Shouldn't they keep the original version so that kids nowadays can learn something while not doing their homeworks. Haihh...

F the Malay version.

Right after Danny Phantom is Rocko's Modern Life. Cartoon ni tak best langsung! Aku tak tau kenape tapi memang aku tak suke. Lagi pun gambar serta lukisan cartoon die tak lawa and tak menarik. So, kte skip citer ni. After that is Kappa Mikey. This cartoon is hillarious but like I say earlier, in English. In Malay version lawak dalam cartoon ni tak jadi! Dan aku akan tergelak sebab lawak die tak jadi seraya terasa bodoh seketika. 

Then, its Catdog time. I don't like this cartoon also because the theme song is like someone babbling alien language and I can only hear clearly the word 'Catdog'. Theme song is a factor for me to watch certain cartoons. Stupid composer. Make another better Catdog theme song for me will you? 

Real life Catdog! HAHA

After that at 5.00 pm is the famous and hillarious Spongebob Squarepants. God! Love this cartoon very much! HAHA See, I'm laughing already. The theme song is very creative and funny. The characters are very funny especially Patrick 'Dumbass' Star. The jokes are very funny and you can't never forget. But on TV9 its in Malay. So, just like Kappa Mikey its hard to catch the jokes though. And some of the script in English has been altered when the Malay version take over. I'm a fan of Spongebob and I can memorise all the episode that have been showed on tv very detail on what Ptarick will say after this and so on. HAHA What a geek. And there goes my favourite cartoons that had been abused by Malay language. Es-hul

Great cartoon but violated by Malay language on TV9.

After this is Mutiara Hati I think. Another Indon's drama. I can't understand my sis would watch this Indon's drama. From 2.00 pm to 6.30 pm she takes over the tv with all the shitty craps that I mentioned up there. And I can't touch the remote because she would cry and mengengek2 kat ayah aku. So, I had to watch all the crappy show for the whole evening. That's why I rather go to bed than watching tv with my sis. Serius bodoh kartun2 yang di translatekan ni. Aku tengok pun terase bodoh. 

 

p/s : I didn't google the list of programmes but I memorise them. Fixed me if i'm wrong.

Maggi

I'm sure all of you familiar with the word 'Maggi'. In fact it is so powerful since most of the people use it on other brand of instant noodle. Whether it is Mamee or Cintan we still call them Maggi right? HAHA So, sume orang mesti pernah makan punyelah Maggi ni. Tipu lah kalau korang cakap korang tak pernah makan. Even my 9 years old sis love to eat it. Tapi die suke hirup kuah Maggi je la. Tak ire lah Maggi ke Cintan ke Mamee ke asalkan instant noodle.

In case you didn't know how Maggi look like

Back in hostel when lunch or dinner menu were tasteless, I would starved for a while and have a nice delicious Maggi after prep class. These Maggi are so precious in hostel because it is the most important menu during weekend especially midnight! Students tend to doze off extra time during weekend and missed their lunch or dinner time. Therefore they craved for these precious Maggi! In that time if you had a lot of Maggi stocks, I'm sure you get rich quick. HAHA 

When I was in Form 1, I hate when there is a spotcheck. You know why? Because the wardens will rampas these Maggi! And I'm guessing that these Maggi are 'barang haram' just like the handphone and other gadgets. LOL Till now I still don't understand why did these Maggi fall under that category. Oooh, I get it. The wardens were starving because their salary weren't enough to buy extra food for themselves!

When it comes to Maggi, of course we have to cook it. But there's a few ways to consume them according to Dr. Maggi which is me! Ngeh3 So, the 1st method is of course the hot water. Its a bit leceh but hey, no pain no gain. Sendiri nak makan kena lah rajin and finding a tupperware wasn't hard though. So, put the hard waxy noodle in the tupperware and pour some hot water in it just about the height of the noodle. Leave it for a while and scaterred the flavour around so that the hard waxy noodle will absorb the flavour. And there you go, nice hot and delicious Maggi.

2nd method is you don't have to use a tupperware, and hot water. This is the lazy method ladies and gents. FYI, the water cooler is very far! And this method was invented unintentionally. Aku akan jadi pelik kalau aku lapar and at that time I was hungry and tanpa berfikir masak2 aku terus membuka bungkusan Maggi tersebut. Then I feel stupid because I don't have a tupperware plus the kid I used to borrow his tupperware was not available. So, I sit down in front of my locker thinking how to find a tupperware. Then my finger started to cubit2 the hard waxy noodle and put it in my mouth. Hey, the tatse wasn't so bad and I wonder how it would taste if I sprinkle the flavour just like the 30 cents Mamee Monster. You know what, the taste went well and a bit spicy. The best of instant noodle to consume this way is the Ibumie Mi Goreng. Because they have kicap, sos and bawang goreng! Kriuk2 gitu. No hot water? No tupperware? No problem. 

Eat those Maggi just like you eat these Mamee monster!

The last method is done in kitchen at home. I don't know bout you guys but my way of preparing Maggi is different. As usual the height of water is the same as the height of the noodle because the kuah tak terlebih dan tak terkurang. Just the way i like it. Plus the kuah tak la tawar atau pekat. Then I take out the noodle out and boil the water simultaneously put the flavour in it. When the flavoured water boiled, I'll put the Maggi and an egg in it and quickly turned off the stove fire because I love the noodle to be a bit crunchy and the egg is kinda halfboiled. Aku tak suka Maggi kembang nanti muak nak makan. Telur pulak aku suke makan last2 lagi2 part yang kuning. Pehhhh! Masuk mulot meleleh2 kuning telur tu! Layann siaaa! Before that I love to pour a ton of chilli sauce in it. To enhance the spicy taste in it. Tak pedas tak sedap bro.

I think that's all about my way of having Maggi. You should try though. Btw, do share some of your weird method of having Maggi. Happy Monday yaww!

p/s : My dad ask me to cut down eating spicy food because he worries about my pimples. Haihh. 

So Many F Roadblocks Nowadays

Since last week I've been going out all night till dawn with my friends. Yelah, semenjak dua menjak ni ade kete terase ringan pulak nak tumpangkan orang. I kinda follow my brother driving habit which is not wearing the seatbelt and smoking while driving. Barulah brother2! HAHA

So, when driving of course the possibilities of having roadblock is very high. It crossed my mind a few times when I was on the road. Ade skali tu sumpah aku tak perasan ade roadblock! I was on my way from Stulang to Susur with the intention to visit the Maknyahs! LOL Gler gelabah aku pakai seatbelt! FYI, seatbelt were made to prevent our body being thrown out of the car during collision. Generally if we pull the seatbelt quickly, it will not work! And thats what happened to me! Aku da lah hyperhydrosis. Time gelabah2 lagi la menjadi2 peloh aku meleleh2. Armpits and palms sweat like shit! Nasib baik ade co-pilot. He helped me with the seatbelt very well.(cukup bulan naik gaji eh co-pilot) Ngeh3

I hate roadblocks! Why? In JB the road are wide enough to try each lane if there's no car. But when there's a roadblock, those police will closed or narrowed the road to 1 lane only! If I was on the wrong lane it will be difficult for me to cucuk2 masuk lane belah sane. Then if I was on the right lane, all the F drivers from other lane will make the 'muka mintak kaki' and just went in the lane without feeling sorry. Lagi2 kalau kete Mercedes, BMW and other big cars. Felt like giving them a middle finger straight to their faces! Tau lah aku kete Waja je. Tak payah nak kabot sangat la siaaa! Everyone is using the road so don't act like the road is yours alone. Macam jalan tu ade name bapak kau je. Kat JB ade name Jalan Salim kot tak de aku nak kabot2 macam korang. Hope you all die with your F big cars in your coffin! And all of these happened because of this one stupid roadblock! Still don't get it what is the purpose of having these stupid roadblocks? Nak saman orang? Aik. Ramai tak de lesen lepas je roadblock tu aku tengok. =.='

Yar3. You the boss. Close all the roads if you could.

Last Friday I fetch some of my friends and there's a roadblock at the road before the Petronas, Shell and McDonald UTM. Nothing happened actually. Maybe the policemen afraid of my brutal face. HAHA! Tomorrow night the same place had a roadblock and also the night after tomorrow! WTF! 3 nights straight! How annoying can it be? The 3rd night I was being told to move aside by the policeman.

'IC dan lesen.'

'Dari mane ni sume?'

'Dari Taman U. Lepak2 mamak tengok bola tadi.'

'Pasang lah Astro kat umah. Tak payah nak susah2 g mamak lagi.'

'Haha' (gelak tak ikhlas) 

'Tu ape tu?'

'Payung. Nak?' 

'Eh, die nak bagi payung. Amek ni nanti hujan bole gune ye tak?'

Aik? Suka hati kau je nak suruh aku pasang Astro? Kalau kau nak pasang kan tak pe la jgak. One more thing, payung pun tak kenal ke? Owhh, police only knew how guns look like. Duhhh, payung pun tak kenal ke bro? Tak kan payung pun nak anggap senjata bro? Agak2 la bro. And one thing for sure, your sense of humour really tickles my ass!

I know that the community feel much safer with police patrol or what so ever the police did. But 3 nights straight at the same place? Seriously annoying. Did you all know about the A.C.A.B? Yar yar yar, the Absolute Chaotic Asian Band. That's just the make up band name to camouflage the truth meaning. And I like the truth meaning for the moment. Have a happy Wednesday!

A.C.A.B Owh yeahh!

p/s : I want to play Counter Strike all day long, be the Terrorist and kill all the Cops a.k.a Counter-Terrorist with a multiple headshot and HE grenade so that their corps are torn into pieces!